Greeting and Salutations one and all!
I hope September has been kind to you. For me it has defiantly brought a challenge. I was working away one day on a new doll and the next day it was like I forgot how to do it!? I woke up and it hit me BAM! I lost my creative spark...where it went I do not know? This, in my 31 years on the planet earth has never happened to me, noppers. It's not just the loss of some invisible friend who was always there for me, through the bad, good and unnecessary. It is more then that. I woke up and lost three decades worth of muscle memory I obtained in my hands. I hold a pen it feels like the first time, needle and threat as well.
I sat at my desk then the couch, next a chair finally ending up of the floor with my sketchbook looked like a two year old was doodling in it pages. I tried to illustrate...nope. I tried to paint...that was way to messy! I took out my clay and normally my hands would have worked it into something decent but this time it was just a messy blob...don't get me started at the state of one dolls poor arm after I couldn't remember how to even do a simple straight stich! So on the floor I lay (melodrama runs in my family) with sketchbook in hand terrible frustrated wondering if I had some sort of stroke in the night (I did mention about the melodrama right!).
Well needless to keep repeating but I really feel like some part of me I didn't really know I had is gone? I have talked it over the friends and family members they all as the same thing 'don't worry it will come back' 'sounds like a case of writers block' 'stop pouting about it' The last one being my favorite. I like to retorted with. 'I haven't pouted since I was 16, I'm due for a good pout!'
So everyone what the hell is this? Not a creative idea in my mind. Not the hand ability to make it if it popped up and such a strange felling of 'Oh! I didn't know what I had till it was gone!'
Even now...today am looking through my portfolio at some illustrations I did only two weeks ago and I can't believe I did them they are like a foreign entity that just materialized there...
So I guess I'll call it Artist Block even though I would not call the feeling a block it feels like empty air in my soul (and the Oscar for the most melodramatic blog post goes to...) Anyhoo I know with seven billion people on the planet I can't be the only one this has happened to...right? Anyone, anyone else? Hello?...
So I will put some new 'old' illustrations in my store. Gotta keep up appearance I say...
Oh and for though of you with a million ideas to help, from working out to finding a muse, I have tried for a week now...I pulled a bicep and my muse just runs away (note to self a horse makes a terrible muse! Next time bring carrots!)
'the royally sucks!' my 16 year old self says! And I am starting to agree with her.
